Help with child tantrums

Tantrums are emotional outbursts that show your child needs or wants something. This is different from a meltdown, which is an involuntary response to sensory overload.

Dealing with these underlying needs can help you calm your child.

• Your child will be looking to you to help them deal with their feelings, so try to stay calm. Let them see everything will be OK.
• If your child becomes aggressive, make sure they’re safe from harm before stepping away. Stay in the room and be ready to comfort them when they ask. Turning your body away is enough.
• You may like to clear things out of the way so they can’t break or cause injury.
• If your child isn’t too distraught, try to distract them with a toy or game.

• Set expectations and incentives for good behaviour. For example, offer a sticker or small treat if they stay next to the trolley while you do the shopping.
• Get to know your child’s triggers (such as boredom, hunger or frustration). Try to tackle these before they cause a tantrum – for example, pack toys or snacks.
• Agree a signal your child can use to show you they’re feeling overwhelmed. You can then step in and talk them through a calming routine. Practice these at home, too.
• Children often get argumentative when they feel they never get their own way. Consider what they’re asking before saying no, and try to compromise when you can.