How to deal with parental burnout

If you’re feeling overwhelmed most days, you may have parental burnout. You might feel you don’t have time to look after your own needs, or that the pressure to be a ‘good’ parent is too much.

Burnout can appear in different ways. It’s important to recognise when things are getting difficult and know what you can do about it.

Stress usually comes before burnout. Stress happens when you feel under pressure and it can affect you both physically and mentally. It’s difficult to cope with at times, but you’ll probably be able to identify ways to get things under control.

Burnout happens when stress gets too much. You can feel helpless and defeated. You experience exhaustion, feel detached or depressed, or have little or no motivation.

If you think you or someone you know might be close to burnout, its important look out for the signs.

If you’re experiencing burnout, you might:

• feel like you need distance from your child
• feel physically or mentally exhausted
• use food, drugs or alcohol to cope
• have a short temper or increased conflict within the family
• have disrupted sleep patterns
• experience anxious feelings, anxiety or panic
• feel depressed or not enjoying things you normally enjoy
• feel lonely or isolated
• feel unmotivated to do everyday tasks or avoid responsibilities
• have headaches, joint and muscle pains
• have little appetite
• show obsessive compulsive behaviours, like overdoing cleaning
• doubt your abilities or feel like a failure
• find it harder than normal to make decisions and take action (brain fog)
• Feel unwell or run down

If you have symptoms of parental burnout or exhaustion, there are some things you can do.

Know that it’s OK to say no. Look for where you’re putting pressure on yourself or where it feels like others expect too much of you. Prioritise the tasks that are essential and focus on how to achieve those. Making a list can help with this.

You may find you’ve been withdrawing from friends, family and outside activities. But this can increase feelings of isolation.

Think about your support network. Who are they and how could they help you? Are there practical things they could do? This could be friends, family, colleagues or your child’s school.

Your friends and family may not realise what you’re experiencing unless you tell them. Explain to them what’s happening. Ask for help if you need it.

If you don’t feel you can talk to friends or family, consider speaking to:

• your GP or health visitor
• a local children’s centre or family hub
• parenting coaches on our webchat or WhatsApp support service

If you’re feeling anxious or worried about something, try dedicating a certain time in your day to thinking about these fears. Worry time gives you a space to let your mind focus on anxious feelings, rather than letting them build up. If an anxious thought appears throughout the day, note it down and set it aside for later. You might want to keep a diary or a journal.

You can use this ‘circles of control’ activity, to help you see where you can make a difference and where you can let go.

You will need a pen and paper.

1. draw two circles: one large circle with a smaller one inside
2. write down everything you can control in the inner circle
3. write the things you can’t control in the outer circle
4. focus on the inner circle and consider what positive things you can do about the things you can control

British Red Cross has a video explaining the Circles of control activity.

When you’re feeling burnt out, your mind is likely to focus on the negatives. Try countering this with a gratitude activity when you wake or before you go to bed.

Pause to think of what you are grateful for. It can be as simple as being grateful that we have air to breathe. It might be helpful to write your thoughts down.

Think about if you’re sleeping well enough. Ask what you can do to improve the quality of your rest times. It can be helpful to:

• create a bedtime routine for yourself
• stay away from phones and screens before bed
• cut out alcohol or caffeine, or both

If you’re still struggling, talk to your GP. The NHS also has some guidance for insomnia.

Exercise prompts chemical changes in the brain and positive shift in mood. Follow a yoga or workout tutorial on YouTube. Go for a run or a walk to get outside.

If you’re short on time, start small. Do something for five minutes then work up from that.

Get yourself active has advice on getting active for disabled people.

Decide on a time in the day where you can take to focus on yourself. Even a little bit can make a difference.

You could try a bath, crafts or colouring, listening to music or a podcast, or making yourself a cup of tea. You can also use breathing techniques to give you a sense of calm. Whatever you choose, the point is to allow yourself to pause and take a breather.

Try our mindfulness activities.

If you’re struggling with your mental health, there are support services that can help you.

It’s important to get help if you’re having suicidal thoughts.

Samaritans

Free talking service open any time day or night

Phone 116 123. To speak in Welsh, phone 0808 164 0123.

Send an email about how you’re feeling to  jo@samaritans.org. Replies to email can take several days.

Samaritans website

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) talking service

Evening helpline open 5pm to midnight

Phone 0800 585858

Send a message on WhatsApp or web chat on the CALM website

Shout

Mental health service open any time day or night

Text ‘Shout’ to 85258

Shout website 

Home-Start

Practical and emotional support at home for families with children under 5

Find your local Home-Start

Gingerbread

Online and in person support groups for single parents in England and Wales

Find a Gingerbread group

Page last reviewed: March 2026
Next review due: March 2029