Helping your child adjust to a blended family

Every family has its own joys and frustrations. This is true of blended families, when one or both partners have children from other relationships. Adjusting to a new family set-up is a time of change for everyone.

Don’t worry if it takes longer than you think to build your routines and relationships with each other. If you need some outside support, you could consider family counselling.

It’s important to give children time to adjust to changes. Don’t rush things. They might not like your new partner or their children right away, and that’s OK.

If you have your own child or children, make time for them. Have regular one-to-one contact so they can talk things through with you and enjoy time with you on their own. Make sure they know that when they’re ready to talk, you’re there to listen.

It can help to:

Reassure them

They may worry about change, especially if other children will be coming into the home.

Recognise feelings of sadness, confusion or anger

Keep telling them that you love them and will be there for them.

Talk to them about rules and expectations

Two households joining together can bring different sets of rules and routines for your family. Talk to your child about the values you want in your shared household before moving in.

Set ground rules with your partner about disciplining each other’s children. This can be one of the trickiest things to manage. Talk about the rules with your children so they understand what’s expected of them.

Try to keep positive relationships with any ex-partners. Keeping things peaceful can help with setting routines and pick-ups and drop-offs.

Remember to make time for your relationship, too. Spending time together and having fun will make it easier to cope with any challenges when they arise. If you’re able to work together on issues, your children will see this.

Page last reviewed: March 2026

Next review due: March 2029