This activity shows how thoughts, feelings and actions influence each other, and how to break the chain.
Start by asking your child about an event that made them feel worried or anxious. Use the steps below to help them explore their thoughts and feelings.
Ask your child: What was the event? What do they remember thinking and feeling about it at the time?
Example: A student prepares for a test but doesn’t get the result they wanted. They start thinking “I’ll never succeed at anything.” This makes them doubt their abilities and feel scared about the future.
Ask your child: What did they do as a result of their thoughts?
Example: The student feels anxious about studying for the next test. They keep thinking about how awful they felt the last time, and put off studying.
Ask your child: What outcome would there have been if they’d thought about things in a different way?
Example: Not preparing for the test results in another low grade. Rather than tackling this issue, the student thinks: “I don’t know why I keep trying. It’s useless – I’m a failure.” This creates a loop of fear and negative thoughts.
Feeling down or bad is completely normal. But, it’s important to remind your child that not every thought or feeling is true, even if it feels that way in the moment.
Finally, talk about what you’ll both take away from this activity. Does it change how you would think about or react to future events?
This advice was written by our experienced Parent Talk coaches. Parent Talk is a free online service for parents and carers, provided by the charity Action for Children. For more advice, message our parenting coaches with our online chat.
