How to help if your child feels lonely

Many children and young people feel lonely at times. Loneliness is not a measure of how many friends someone has. Even very social children can experience feelings of loneliness and isolation.

If you think your child might feel lonely, spotting the signs and showing you understand their feelings can help you to support them.

If your child is feeling lonely, you might notice they:

• avoid talking about friends
• seem quiet, withdrawn or sad for no obvious reason
• lose their appetite
• mention they have no one to sit with at school
• spend more time on social media than with friends in real life
• cling to you or want to spend more time with you

If your child is showing signs of loneliness, try to talk to them about how they’re feeling. Acknowledge their feelings if your child says they’re lonely. Phrases like “I can see why that would be painful” help them feel heard. Try not to be dismissive or critical if your child wants to fit in with their peers.

Let them know it’s OK to be alone sometimes. We all feel lonely from time to time and it doesn’t make them a failure.

You might talk to your child about positive relationships. Keep it light – show an interest in their friends or peers and ask how they feel about them.

Your child might not feel lonely all the time. Sometimes loneliness can be linked to things happening in their life. They might:

• have been through a big change, such as moving house or starting a new school
• be away from friends and family
• have lost someone close to them or been through a relationship break-up
• feel different from others or like people don’t understand them
• be experiencing bullying or abuse

Social media can be a powerful tool for feeling connected. At the same time, it can feel isolating if your child sees friends doing things without them. If they feel different from others, seeing posts about other people’s lives can make them feel worse.

Spending time with your child can help them feel loved and accepted.

You can:

• make sure they know you’re available if they want to talk
• tell them and show them how much you love them
• encourage them to share their feelings by talking, drawing or keeping a journal
• help them boost their self-esteem
• help them find ways to make new friends

Page last reviewed: March 2026
Next review due: March 2029