Supporting a child who finds Christmas overwhelming

Christmas can be hard for your child if they struggle with crowds, noises and changes in routine. The festive period can be overwhelming for autistic children and children with ADHD, sensory issues or anxiety.

It can help to plan and adapt your celebrations around your child’s needs.

Make a list of what your child finds difficult. The list will be unique to your child because every child will cope with Christmas in different ways.

Try to think about when they might experience these things. Think about whether you can avoid those situations or help your child prepare. It might help to let friends and family know what you’re doing and why.

Some children find surprise gifts overwhelming. You might want to let them know what type of gifts they will open and when this will happen.

For example, you could tell them you will give them a book and the surprise is which book you choose. It can also help to:

• spread gift giving over the day or different days
• give gifts without wrapping
• allow them to open gifts away from others or at the same time as other people, so they don’t feel like they’re being watched
• talk to friends and family to explain that your child’s responses to gifts might not be what they expect

Involve your child in some decisions. For example, ask them to help you choose decorations they feel comfortable with. This could be lights, colours and textures.

Find out what’s happening at your child’s school or nursery. Celebrations could include shows, parties, lunches or Christmas jumper days.

This could become overwhelming for some children. If you feel your child may need extra support during these times, try to speak to the school before the event so they can plan to support your child.

If your child struggles with people visiting your home or going out, think about how you can help. You could:

• see if your child wants to stay at home with another family member when you go out
• let your child know they don’t have to hug or kiss people they don’t want to
• ask if they want to play in a different room
• share pictures of people in advance, so they’re familiar with their faces
• let your child stay with you if they want to when at other houses
• remind the people you’re seeing not to put pressure on your child to speak or join in

Different food, smells and sounds or textures may upset some children. At Christmas, this could be noisy toys, perfume, scratchy jumpers or the expectation to eat something different.

If it helps, you can:

• warn them about some of the things they may see, hear and smell
• let them know they can opt out of wearing certain clothing if it’s uncomfortable
• try to protect their bedroom from new smells
• give them familiar scents to wear (try essential oil rollers or lip balm on their wrists)
• avoid buying loud or overly stimulating toys
• go without Christmas crackers, or find ‘no bang’ crackers
• offer ear defenders
• serve up their usual favourite food, if the Christmas meal is a problem for them

Keep at least one room in the house free of decoration. Try to make sure it looks like it usually does. This can be a safe space for your child if they feel overwhelmed. 

Prepare your child each day for what’s coming the next day. Talk to them about who will be there, what they will do and what they’ll eat. If your child uses picture cards or sign language to communicate, start using signs for the new activities ahead of time to help their understanding.

Some children might like to have some control over some of these things. You could give them a choice between two different activities.

Try to keep some of their routine the same. It can be helpful to start and end their day with something you would usually do. Think about morning routines, as well as bath time, bedtime and story time.