How to make a family kindness chart

A kindness chart can help teach your child how to be kind. Use it to notice and track acts of kindness, and to show your child how to think about what others need. Over time, the chart will help encourage certain behaviours in your child.

You and your child can decide how you want to chart to look. Every time someone is kind, mark it on the chart. When the chart is full, celebrate with a family reward.

The chart will work best if it’s designed in a way that engages and excites your whole family. Some ideas include:

• Nice cream challenge. Draw a big ice cream cone. Add a sprinkle every time someone is kind. Download an example (PDF).
• Bee kind. Draw out lots of hexagons, like you would see in a beehive. Every time someone is kind, add colour to a hexagon. Download an example (PDF). 
• Family tree. Create a family tree with bare branches. Every time someone is kind, write what they did on a leaf and add it to the tree.
• 100 act of kindness. Draw or print 100 squares, hearts or smiley faces on a piece of paper. Colour one in each time someone is kind. Download an example (PDF).
• Sticker landscapes. Create a landscape based on your child’s interests (farms, dinosaurs, horses or cars, for example). Add a sticker when someone is kind.
• Be the ‘I’ in kind. Find a mirror and tell your child it represents the letter ‘I’ in the word KIND. Use chalk pens to write down kind acts on the mirror.
• Kindness bingo. Create a bingo card of kind activities and celebrate when you get a line or a full house. Download an example (PDF). 
• Jars of kindness. Fill an old jar with pom poms, marbles or lollypop sticks. Add an item each time someone is kind. Celebrate when it’s full.

Sit as a family and introduce the idea of a kindness chart to everyone at the same time. Ask your child what they could do to be kind and what rewards they would like to work towards.

Make sure your whole family are using the chart. Having a common goal should help you work as a team. Ask your child to point out when they notice others being kind.

Once you’ve decided on a design, create the chart together. Put it somewhere you can all see it.

Give your child ideas for different ways to be kind, to help them understand what’s needed for the chart. You can:

• Notice when others are kind and point it out to your child.
• Be kind to others and to your child. They will pick up on this and copy.
• Notice the impact your child has when they have been kind to someone. Ask your child about the difference they think they made.
• Give them opportunities to be kind. Point out that their friend looks sad and ask how they could help.
• Encourage them to think about what makes others happy. Birthdays can be helpful for this – get your child to come up with ideas for presents based on what someone likes.
• Help them understand, express and cope with emotions. This will help them see the positive and negative impacts of their actions.

When you have filled your kindness chart, celebrate as a family and reflect on how you helped each other. Spend some time together doing something you all enjoy. This could include:

• Board games. Everyone picks a game to play. Decide on a day to spend playing them together.
• Picnic. Get a blanket and have a picnic inside or out. Ask your child to help make food.
• Swimming. Take a trip to a local swimming pool or the beach. Or set up a paddling pool in the garden.
• Movie night. Pick a movie and watch together with a pile of cushions, blankets and some treats.
• Go to the park. Find an outdoor space nearby. Or travel a little further to an adventure playground that your child will enjoy.
• Visit the beach. Spend a day making sandcastles, paddling in the water and exploring rockpools.
• Take a walk. Find a nearby woodland, some countryside, or a play area.
• Go to museums and formal gardens. Many are free or low cost options for a day out and will give children lots to explore.

You can also try some different activities to help your child learn kindness. We have some advice to help with this.