Autistic meltdowns and supporting your child

Autistic meltdowns are a response to your child’s mind or body feeling overwhelmed. They may appear to happen without warning.

All children can have meltdowns, but if you have an autistic child these may be stronger and more frequent. Your child may also need more recovery time. Learning about what causes your child’s meltdowns and how to calm them can help you to support your child.

If your child isn’t autistic, there are different ways to help your child in a meltdown or tantrum.

Meltdowns usually look like a loss of control. This can include:

• kicking, hitting or biting others
• hitting themselves or banging their heads
• screaming or shouting
• crying

Sometimes a child will internalise what they’re feeling instead. They may withdraw, becoming quiet and non-responsive. They might self-isolate and not want anyone near them. They might run off or try to lock themself away.

In the immediate moment, while a meltdown is happening:

• make sure the space around them is as safe as possible
• try to stay calm
• remember they can’t control this behaviour
• try not to say too much or make demands, they might not be able to understand in the moment
• try not to worry about the reactions of people around you
• give them time to work through the meltdown until they are calmer
• allow them time to recover afterwards

An autistic meltdown is usually caused by a sense of overload. Your child will have no control over their reaction. They may not be able to tell you when they feel overwhelmed.

Learning what triggers a meltdown can help you feel more prepared. Every child is different, but there are some common triggers.

Sensory triggers

Autistic people often have sensory needs or sensitivities. They might be sensitive to sound, touch, taste, smell, visuals or movements. If your child’s senses are overloaded or if they are understimulated, this can cause a meltdown.

Changes in routine

Your autistic child might feel most comfortable with a routine in place. They can be sensitive to even small changes. Your child might be more likely to have a meltdown when:

• there are unexpected changes to their routine
• they are in a new environment
• they are around new people

Feeling frustrated or anxious

Communication is often difficult for autistic children. It can feel frustrating for them when they’re misunderstood, or they can’t describe what they need or want.

Your child might experience anxiety or anxious feelings.

Note down when meltdowns happen to spot possible patterns. Write down what you were doing, where, and your child’s reaction. You could try keeping a behaviour diary.

Taking steps to support your child may reduce or prevent meltdowns. It can help to:

• show them show them what’s coming up that day with a visual
• be consistent and stick to routines where possible
• think about how you will support your child if unexpected events happen
• help them to communicate their emotions using a feelings thermometer
• help you child understand what to expect in situations by using social stories
• offer them sensory support aids, like fidget toys and sensory activities

Page last reviewed: April 2025
Next review due: April 2028