Leaving a relationship with no money and a child

Leaving a relationship with no money can feel hard, especially if you have a child or children. It can help to know what your options are and where to get support.

It’s a good idea to take time to understand your financial situation when you’re thinking about leaving a relationship.

Write down any income you have and how much money you think you will need to live without your partner. Costs might include:

• childcare
• housing
• bills
• food
• travel

Research what financial support you could get. This includes specific financial support for parents and children. Citizen’s Advice has information on arranging financial support after you separate.

You can check what you’re entitled to with the government’s online benefit calculator.

Contact an advice service to help you work out where you can get support.

Citizens Advice

Get practical advice on benefits and support.

Phone:

0800 144 8848 in England

0800 702 2020 in Wales

0800 028 1456 in Scotland

Support is usually available 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Find your local Citizens Advice (England and Wales).

Citizens Advice Scotland

StepChange

Free debt advice and support with debt management plans.

StepChange online advice tool

Phone 0800 138 1111, 8am to 8pm Monday to Friday and 9am to 2pm on Saturday.

Couples often have disagreements about money, but financial abuse is when one person uses money to control another. You might feel like your financial independence is reduced.

Financial control or abuse may start slowly and build gradually. Your partner might:

• reduce your access to money or question everything you spend
• convince you to have only joint bank accounts so that you have to explain your spending
• regularly criticise your choices about money
• make you ask them for money to pay for things
• take loans out or build up debt in your name

Money Helper has some more advice on spotting the signs of financial abuse and where to get support.

Many banks and building societies have domestic abuse policies, so ask your bank if they offer financial planning support for your situation. Surviving Economic Abuse has information on how banks can help.

You can also find out where to get help if you’re being abused.

If you feel safe living with your partner until you find somewhere new to live, this will give you more time to make decisions. You may be able to work together to decide where you and your children will live.​ ​

If you can’t talk to your partner, try to find housing before leaving the relationship.

This could be:

• a rental agreement, if you can afford it
• staying with family or friends if this is a possibility
• contacting your council’s homeless team to make a housing application
• finding a domestic abuse refuge

If you are living with family or friends you may be considered homeless by the council, but this depends on your situation. Shelter has information on homelessness help after a relationship breakdown (England) or making a homelessness application (Scotland).

It is helpful to understand your legal rights when separating. A family solicitor may be able to answer any questions you have.

For example, this might be about:

• what will happen to your house if you split from your partner
• making decisions about your child or children
• what your rights are if you are unmarried

For example, you and your partner will need to agree on what contact arrangements for your child will look like or get help doing this.

You will also need to understand how child maintenance payments work.

Some solicitors offer a free 30-minute session. Look for local or online firms doing this in your area or ask Citizens Advice for recommendations. Solicitors may also provide free guidance on their websites about divorce and separation.

Page last reviewed: January 2025
Next review due: January 2028