Playing with your child

Playing is one of the best things you can do with your child to support their development. Because children learn constantly through play, even small moments count.

You don’t need expensive toys or long play sessions on the floor for it to be meaningful. You can make play happen in everyday life, by asking your child to help with things like sorting the recycling or finding items on a shopping list.

Play supports your child’s development in many areas. It helps them to:

• build their speech and language skills
• develop physical skills like balance, strength and coordination
• develop fine motor skills
• learn how to follow instructions and how to solve problems
• build early numeracy and literacy skills
• learn how to take turns and how to share
• understand feelings and begin to recognise emotions in others
• practise role-playing, negotiation and other social skills
• build imagination and creative thinking

By playing with your child, you can also teach them how to play well with others.

Children learn in many ways and a variety of play helps them to build different skills. Some of the different types of play include:

• construction play, such as building, stacking or sorting objects and blocks
• imaginative play using roleplay or dressing up
• small-world play using figures, animals or vehicles
• simple board or card games that teach turn-taking
• messy or sensory play with paint, sand, water, playdough or slime
• singing, dancing, action songs or interactive stories
• outdoor play in the park, climbing, running or exploring nature

Your child may prefer some types of play more than others. Once you find the things they enjoy, you can build on that.

Getting down on the floor to play with your child is great if you can. But play doesn’t always have to be a big, structured activity or a floor-based game. You can find ways to add playful moments into everyday tasks.

Let your child help with jobs around the house

Your child can help with passing pegs while you hang up the washing. They could count them or tell you the colours of the pegs. Or when cooking, you could let your child help with the mixing and measuring of ingredients. This feels like fun to your child and gives you the chance to get things done.

Narrate what you’re doing

Talking through chores as you do them (“Now I’m putting this away…”) builds communication and keeps you connected with your child.

Use small pockets of time

Just 5 minutes of fully engaged play (like a quick card game) can be more meaningful than trying to force a long session when you’re busy or stressed.

You don’t always have to be hands-on

Children also benefit from you watching and commenting on their play. Being nearby even if you’re not actively joining in means you can talk about and validate what they’re doing.

Make use of local groups

It’s common to feel unsure about how to play or to find some activities difficult. Many parents didn’t grow up with certain types of play or have access to play groups or social support.

If you find messy or noisy activities uncomfortable, you could take your child to a playgroup where they can explore this type of play. This takes some of the pressure off as the group will lead the activity and you won’t have to deal with the clean-up afterwards.

Remember play doesn’t need to be perfect

You don’t have to be 100% present in your child’s play all the time. Play doesn’t need to be perfect to be fun for your child and support their development.

There’s no single rule or number to how often you should play with your child. It’s good to focus more on the quality of your play together rather than set amounts of time. Offering opportunities for play is as important as playing yourself.

Every family is different so play when you can, in ways that work for you and your routine. It’s ok if some days are fuller than others. And children will play and learn even when you’re not directly playing with them.

Independent play is also an important part of your child’s learning. You can encourage this by:

• setting up an activity and staying nearby
• commenting occasionally on what they are doing
• giving them simple craft materials or objects that encourage imagination

This helps your child develop confidence and problem-solving skills, and it gives you space to do other things.

With busy lives and other commitments to juggle, it can sometimes feel hard to find the time or energy to play with your child. There may also be moments when you don’t feel able to play and feel guilty about this. But it’s okay to tell your child that you can’t play right now.

You can say something like “I can’t play at the moment, but you can look at this book and when I’m ready, we’ll play with the ball.” Or set a timer and tell them, “When this timer goes off, we’ll play.”

Your child can learn to wait – this will help them develop resilience, patience and understand routine. If they are finding it hard, you could offer an activity that your child can do beside you while you keep an eye on them.

Sometimes it’s the connection with you that they are craving the most. You could snuggle up under a blanket and watch a favourite show together instead. Or if you’re feeling stressed, going out for a calm walk together may help you to reset.

You could also take them to a local playgroup where they can play, and you can interact and get support from other parents. If you’re feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, reach out to your support network for help.

As your child grows and they go through different stages of development, they will enjoy and explore different types of play. Older children may want to play more imagination-based games, while babies and toddlers enjoy activities to develop their motor skills.

You can support their learning through play and the skills they may be building at different ages:

Early years (from birth to 2 years old)

You could try:

• peek a boo or simple turn-taking games
• cloth books and soft toys
• dangly toys or mobiles
• stacking or posting toys
• music, songs and action rhymes
• sensory play with water, sand or playdough
• small-world toys and figures
• dressing up with old clothes

Preschoolers (3-5 years old)

You could offer:

• role play, such as shops, cooking or pretend scenarios
• simple board or card games
• building toys, like blocks or Lego
• messy play with paint, slime or putty
• reading interactive stories
• junk modelling or crafts
• nature walks and collecting items outdoors

Primary-age children (5+ years old)

Children at this age may enjoy:

• more detailed imaginative play
• Lego or building sets without instructions, so they can use their imagination
• playing with a group of friends
• creative projects such as crafts and models
• more complex board or card games

You can support them by giving them space to explore their interests and by noticing what they choose to do.

Sign up to our free ‘Building blocks to Parenting’ course where you’ll find a module on the ‘the magic of play and connection’.

Page last reviewed: March 2026

Next review due: March 2029