Many parents are feeling guilty during lockdown. You may feel that you’re not coping, or that you could be doing better. The pressures of home schooling your children and balancing your other commitments can take a toll. We’re here to tell you it’s OK.
The challenges you’re facing as a parent during lockdown are new and difficult. Many parents feel the same way you do, even if they don’t talk about it.
Think about where your guilt is coming from. Is it about something out of your control? Accept that you’re feeling guilty. Label the feeling as guilt and move on from it. Fighting it wastes energy and can affect your behaviour towards others.
In fact, you’re at home during a crisis, trying to work, while also trying to manage childcare. If it’s difficult, speak to you employer about flexible working and workload expectations.
It’s OK to let your children watch TV or play video games. It can help you get some work done, take time for yourself, and help create a happier home environment.
Your home is not a classroom, and the current changes may be unsettling for your children. You are also not a teacher and it’s OK if both you and children can only do half days.
Have realistic expectations. If you can, introduce some flexibility in your school day routine. This way you can adapt if necessary but keep a sense of normalcy for the day.
Some days the routine may feel impossible. Take a day off, bake a cake, make a fort, watch a film together and try again tomorrow.
The happier you are, the happier you will be with your children. Ask yourself:
Reflect on the positives and highlight successes, big and small. At the end of the day, share one thing that’s gone well. Put up a board and have everyone write one thing they’ve learned that day. This will also help reflect on home schooling. Learning isn’t just about what is on the curriculum.
Seeing other families doing well on social media can make you feel guilty. But remember: people only post the good. Yes, they are having fun in the park right now. What you don’t see is they also spent 30 minutes convincing a toddler to put shoes on.
Limit your use of social media. It might be useful to have a ‘clear out’ of the people you are following/friends with. If deleting someone is not an option, you can mute or hide their posts without them knowing.
It has been said again and again, but these really are unprecedented times. There is no roadmap for parents. Give yourself a break, you are doing great.
We take your safety and privacy seriously
We will only share personal information shared in the live chat if we need to talk to other professionals to get the best support for you. In the majority of cases, we will discuss this with you first. We also share anonymised data with the commissioners of this service. By using Talk, you understand and give your explicit consent to this.
You do not have to share personal information if you do not wish to.
Your email address will not be used for any reason beyond giving you parenting information, support and advice.